cogito

Aphter: Epilogue

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Epilogue

After several days inside my new head, I was almost used to myself again. Almost.

I was almost used to the strange discomfort of floating memories. I had never really noticed before how memories are chained together, how you can move freely from a memory to the situation in which you gained that memory to the next situation. Even if you don't traverse the pathway, it's there. You could, at least in general, figure out where a memory came from. You could answer the question, "Why do I know this?" It's a thing I had always taken for granted, until my brain was invaded by all these memories, by all this information, that had no business there. Now I looked memories up in my own brain like in a telephone book or a dictionary. I just thought about a person, or saw them, and my brain rushed to all the details about them.

Well, not all the details. I didn't really know people, I just knew about them. I knew where they lived, where they came from, who their family members were, things like that. I could make small talk with everyone in this damn ghost town.

It wasn't all bad. There was something intriguing about getting to know strangers you already knew so much about. It was like filling in the blanks. At first people reacted strangely to me, but word spread pretty quickly in this town. By now it seemed everyone knew there was a new Sheriff. No one ever called me Al anymore, except Freddie and Dad. They knew.

In the past few days I had also almost gotten used to the constant chatter in my head of these damned birds. They were everywhere, watching everything. They reported in to each other constantly, keeping the whole group informed of what was happening all over town. And I got to listen in. I had my own, personal bird brain. "Alan Wayne Hall," they called me. "There is a disturbance at the house of Saul Moorin, Alan Wayne Hall. Please intervene." "You should greet newcomer Tingxiao Yang, Alan Wayne Hall." "The knights are harassing Romeo di Marti again, Alan Wayne Hall." Never a break from the birds calling my name, but I had learned to listen in the back of my head. I was sorting it all out. I was almost used to is all.

Almost.

"You are required at Lifegate, Alan Wayne Hall."

"What was that?," I thought to myself. "Lifegate? What is Lifegate? Oh, right. Lifegate. Hmmm. Interesting."

It took a while to walk to Lifegate from the Twilight Zone. I didn't take the train because I could tell there was no real urgency. I wanted to see some of the places I knew about in my head, to connect more memories to something real and tangible. They were more palatable that way.

When I got near the Center, I entered the small, stone house that had sat empty for as long as anyone could remember. People called it "Gatehouse," though no one knew why. No one except me, that is. I had talked to Dad and Freddie and they both told me that all that disconnected knowledge goes away when you lost the job. I looked forward to that day.

I opened the back bedroom closet in Gatehouse and bent to lift the trap door in the floor. Propping, the trap door open, I lowered myself through the opening and, with my feet, found the top of the ladder on the wall below. I hopped down to the ladder and climbed down into the strangely familiar tunnel for the first time in my life. I knew the tunnel was about three hundred yards long and turned three times on the way to Lifegate. I felt my way along the wall in the dark. When I got close, I could hear people speaking softly up ahead.

"Hello?" I called into the darkness.

"We are hear, Alan Wayne Hall," came the unmistakable voice of a Dark Angel.

"And who are we?" I asked, but there was no reply. I made my way forward cautiously and came, at last, to the end of the dark passage.

"Be careful," said the Dark Angel, "the ceiling here is very low."

I reached slowly above my head and could feel the stone of the passage just a couple of inches above me. "You must be very crowded down here," I said to the Dark Angel.

"I am fine," he said. His voice was right beside my ear. He must have been on his knees. "You are the Keystone," he said. "You hold the keys to life and death."

"Right," I said. "You want me to open the gate?"

"Yes, please."

"Really? I seem to recall that this gate is never used," I said. "Are you sure?"

"It has been used before, but not many times," said the Dark Angel. "Please, Alan Wayne Hall, open the Lifegate."

"You're the boss," I said. I reached above my head and placed my hands flat upon the stone. In the way I knew though I knew not how I knew, I willed the stone away. Suddenly, there was a flood of light in the passage. I reached into my pocket for my shades and threw them on. "The Lightstone," I said, looking up into it.

"We are directly beneath it," said the Dark Angel. "Open the Lifegate."

I reached above me again and placed my hands on the cool, stone. I felt almost alive, like the surface was slithering away from my grasp. Again I willed, and the stone bulged and buckled inward above me, creating a dark circle just over out heads. I turned toward the Dark Angel and noticed for the first time the man standing beside him.

"Oh," I said. "It's you."

Here Ends Aphter, Part I: The Maker Song

Aphter: 58

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58

I sat at the bar at Joe's sipping slowly from a cold, dark Guinness in a pint glass. There was a ZZ Top song playing over the sound system - I couldn't tell which one - and the place was pretty full, as it always was on Friday nights. I've never been a heavy drinker, but I've always found something comforting about a loud, dim, smokey bar. It was settling to my nerves, and I really needed to unwind.

Back when he was alive, before the cancer, Dad used to bring me to places like this all the time, even when I was too young to get in. He'd always get me in one way or another. Dad had never been here to Joe's, since we had never lived in Texas when Dad was alive. Back then we spent a lot of time up around New England. Dad loved rough bars on the coast, the kind where you could count on a good brawl between a couple of stevedores or fishermen, maybe even a whole group. The accents were different. The music was different. Still, a rough, little bar is the same all over. Dad would have liked Joe's.

I could see the front door from where I sat and I watched it closely. Dad had taught me to always position myself in a public place so that I could see as many of the main entrances and exits as possible. These days, without him on my ass all the time, I wasn't so strict about that kind of thing. Still, the training was always there in the back of my mind. Tonight, though, I chose this spot so I could watch for Sam. It was getting pretty late, and I had pretty much given up on her. She hated me. I didn't really blame her. I should have been more careful.

"Hey," she said, walking up behind me.

"Sam?" I said with surprise, turning to look at her. "When did you get here?"

"I was here when you walked in," she said. "I was sitting back there." She nodded toward the shadowy booths near the back.

"Oh," I said. "I've been waiting for you. I didn't see you."

"I didn't want you to see me," she said. She slid into the chair beside me. I could see she had already had a couple of drinks. She stared straight ahead, looking at the bottles arranged along the wall behind the bar.

"So, how are you sleeping?" I asked, leaning way forward in an attempt to get her to look at me.

"I'm not," she said.

"Still?"

She didn't answer.

"How's Cami?" I sighed and sat back. She wasn't going to look at me.

"She's still too scared to stay in her room. We're sleeping on a mattress in the living room. Well, not sleeping. Watching television all night."

"Oh," I said. "Sam, I'm so sorry."

"I know," she said.

"But you still hate me." I took a big draw from my stout and winced at the bitter bite of it.

She turned toward me then. "You look like hell, Simon." She was right. I hadn't been shaving or taking care of myself much since getting back from Aphter a few days ago. My door at home was still just propped up. I felt like shit. I felt confused.

"Amy called me today," I said. "She's doing great. She seems to think the whole thing was a great adventure. What a kid she is."

"She's great," Sam said. "I'm glad she's not all freaked out. How's her mom?"

"Okay, I guess. She's working again. Amy's back in school. I guess they're going to be okay." I smiled at her briefly and then looked away.

"You probably saved their life, Simon," she said.

"Well, it's my job," I said. "I'm just so sorry that..."

"Hey," she said. "It's not your fault." She looked up at me with the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "Look, I'm really fucked up right now. I have all this fear, you know?"

"I know."

"No. You don't," she wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "You saved us, Simon. I mean, I know you accidentally dragged me and Cami into this, but you also saved us. I mean..." she stopped to wipe her nose with a cocktail napkin.

"It's okay," I said.

"No, you listen to me," she said. "You're a great guy, Simon. I mean, how does a guy come out of something like that feeling bad about himself? You're the hero, Simon. You are. You are not the bad guy, here. I don't want my fucked up fear make you hate yourself, Simon. I don't hate you. I'm not even mad at you. I just wish none of this had ever happened, you know? But you were just trying to help, you know?" She leaned against me. "I know that, Simon. You were just trying to help. That's what you do, right? You just try to help, right?"

"Look, Sam..."

"Do you know how great that is, Simon? Do you know how many of the men in this bar are total assholes, Simon?"

"Well, I don't think they're total assholes," I said. "I mean, some..."

"They are, Simon. Lots of them are. Maybe most of them are. But not you. I really, really, really want you to know what a great guy you are, Simon. That's what I was thinking while I was watching you this evening. I was sitting over there thinking, 'Look at him, sitting there. He hates himself, and he's easily the best guy in the whole damn place.'"

I didn't know what to say.

"I just wanted to tell you that," she said. "I couldn't leave without telling you that."

"Thanks," I said, and I meant it.

"Now pay my tab and let's go." She slid off her stool and stood behind me.

"Go where?" I asked, reaching for my wallet.

"Cami and I need to sleep tonight, so you're staying on our couch."

"Oh," I smiled. "Well, I can't sleep with the television on."

"You're not there to sleep. You're there to watch television while we sleep."

"Oh," I said. "It's a deal."

Epilogue

Test. Please ignore.

This is a test. That's all, just a test. The end.

Aphter: 57

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57

Simon seemed like a nice guy. He was tall, with longish, dark hair. He was broad but slender, not a hulk like his father. Still, I wouldn't want to tangle with him. He looked like he could hold his own. He had a quieter nature than David, too, not so severe. When I first met him, I jokingly apologized for having his car towed, and he just laughed. "I was supposed to come and see you at the station," he said, "but you didn't come in that morning."

"Yeah, I was a little busy," I laughed. It was a strange thing to joke about, I guess. While he was at the station picking up his car I was, apparently, lying in a freezer across town. And now Betty suspected Simon of putting me there. Poor bastard. I wouldn't want Betty on my case like that.

"Look, I work for them, they don't work for me," said Sheriff Freddie. "I don't know what to tell you." We were standing outside looking at the damage to the outer wall. Inuichuk, David, Simon, Dad and I were there, along with a few other knights. The Sheriff had just arrived.

"This is a violation of our rights!" David yelled at the Sheriff. He hadn't stopped fuming since the intrusion more than an hour ago. If I understood the story, everyone seemed to think that one of the Ravens had broken into the castle or whatever the hell they called the place and carried of Joseph Mollel from his cell. I had to admit, I was happy for the guy. Something about these knights bugged me.

"You can scream at me all you want, David, if it helps you cope. Nevertheless, there's not a thing I can do about this," the Sheriff said, smiling at David. "Let's remember that we are all friends here."

"Why would the Ravens do this?" asked Simon, standing beside his father and addressing the Sheriff.

"I'm sure I don't understand much of what these birds do," answered the Sheriff. "I trust them, however. I'm sure it will work out in the end."

"If you knew something, would you tell us?" Inuichuk asked.

"I've got no reason to lie to you, Inuichuk," Freddie replied. "I make it my business to know as little as possible." He smiled.

I liked Freddie. He seemed to me to have the perfect temperament for a peace officer, a thing I had come to appreciate in my time on the force. A lot of people back on the force pined for the old days when the authorities seemed to wield absolute power. Me? I didn't trust unchecked power. I learned that from my dad, though I wondered now if he had forgotten that lesson. It bothered me that he had given up being Sheriff here to join these knights. I just didn't seem like the dad I remembered. It had been a long time, though. I hadn't had much of a chance to talk to him about it.

One thing was certain, there was no way I was going to join these guys. I wasn't sure how to tell them, I was a little nervous about how they would take it, but I knew that I could not join. I just wanted a quiet life for a change. No duties. No responsibilities. No authority. Maybe I could hook up with a nice girl, like Naomi. I didn't have a lot of hope that a great girl like her wasn't attached to some lucky guy already, but I liked to imagine asking her to dinner, getting to know her, seeing what developed.

The knights and the Sheriff exchanged a few more words, but I stopped paying attention. Pretty soon the group broke up. Simon said his goodbyes, even nodding over to me, and walked off. He was heading back to Earth, to the living world. I envied him a little, but not as much as I would have a few days before. I was starting to see how life here could be pretty nice, if I could just avoid the nutball knights. David and the other Knights headed back into their fortress. Dad was going with them, and he turned and motioned for me to follow. I mimed a yawn to tell him I was sleepy and made a thumb motion back toward his place not far from here. He got the message and nodded goodbye, and I turned to go before anyone changed their mind.

"So, Al, how are you getting settled?" It was Sheriff Freddie walking up behind me.

"Pretty good," I said. "I'm staying with Dad for now and figuring out my next move." He walked beside me as I headed for Dad's place.

"Thinking of joining up?" he asked, motioning toward the knight's fortress behind us.

"You know," I said, "not really. I'm not sure they'll take it well when I refuse, though."

"Oh, don't worry about it," he smiled. "They get very serious and loud, but they're not bad people."

"You think I should join?" I asked, surprised.

"Oh, hell no," he said. "Stay away from those nuts. They may not be bad people, but they're all fucking loonies, if you ask me."

I laughed, feeling more at ease with that answer. "That's my impression too," I said. "To tell you the truth, I'm looking forward to a quiet life."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'd like to meet a girl, maybe spend a little time getting to know her."

"A girl," he said. He sounded a little distant.

"Right," I continued. "Hey, what do you know about Naomi, the greeter girl?" I turned but he had stopped a couple of steps back. "Is everything okay?"

There was a Raven sitting on his shoulder. I didn't think it had been there before. As I thought this, another Raven came and perched on his other shoulder. It cawed loudly, and Freddie winced at the noise in his ear.

"What's wrong?" I asked, taking a step toward him. As I said it, two more Ravens flew in from the left and landed on the ground between us. Three more flew in from the right and did the same. Hearing flapping and cawing behind me, I turned. There were at least a dozen Raven behind me and to the sides. I was completely surrounded. "What the hell?" I said. I remembered that hole in the building back there and my hair started to stand on edge. I looked at Freddie.

"I'm so sorry, Al," he said. There were tears in his eyes.

"What...," I started, but then I stopped. One of the Ravens, directly between Freddie and me, began to unfold before my eyes. With a strange, ruffling sound he grew and grew, towering over us. With in a few seconds there was, standing between the two of us, a gigantic, black shape like a man with massive wings. He was so pitch black, I couldn't make out his features. He was like a silhouette in front of a bright light. I could only make out his huge body and wings and the pure white glow of his eyes.

Suddenly Freddie screamed and fell to his knees, agony on his face. At the sound, the Ravens all around began to circle in a black cloud around us, all but the one huge shape. Dark Angel, that's what someone had said earlier. Dark Angel.

"Sheriff!" I started to move toward him, but the Dark Angel put a hand on my head and pushed me down to my knees. The Sheriff screamed out again, his face a mask of pain. Then, from nowhere, two bright spots of light appeared in front of him. They looked like they had come right out of his chest. He collapsed to the ground, panting.

"What's happening?" I yelled, and I struggled in vain against the hand holding me down. The two lights moved slowly toward me.

"The keys of life and death," said the Dark Angel in a deep, raspy voice.

"What?" I was terrified. The lights came closer, and the hand pulled me up straight. The cloud of Ravens weaved all around and cawed madly. The sound of their wings was deafening.

Then, the lights touched my chest, and my mind exploded. So many names. So many lives. So many voices. So many faces. So many names. So many lives. So many voices. So many faces. I knew I had gone completely mad. I was possessed by all of humanity. No. Not all, only the dead. I was possessed by the resting dead. I knew each of them. Their names. Their families. Their voices. Their faces. I knew them all.

"You are the keystone," said the angel's voice. "You hold the keys."

I collapsed then, overwhelmed by the voices within. As I slept, my mind went to work. My mind grew. New connections were made. New pathways were opened. New patterns and structures were built to deal with more information than I had ever imagined. By the time I awoke, blinking, sweat-soaked and dazed, lying face down on the ground, I had it all worked out. I knew how to know these things. It was all in there.

"How are you feeling?" I knew the voice. Farrokh Bulsara, though he went by Freddie Mercury. Born on Zanzibar in Africa. Musician, singer and composer. Died in 1991 of complications from AIDS.

"You sang for Queen," I said, trying to sit up.

"I know," he said, smiling. "Let me help you." He wrapped an arm around me as I pulled to me feet and helped stabilize me for a second. "Are you well?" he asked.

It was strange, knowing so much about him. "What happened?" I asked. I looked around. The Ravens were all gone.

"Don't you know?"

I thought about it for a minute and it came to me. My heart sank a little. "I'm Sheriff."

"I'm afraid so," he said. "Sorry. I know it's not what you wanted."

I shook my head in disbelief. "But, why?" I stared intently at him. "Why me?"

"Who knows?" he said. "Damn birds do what they want. Can't say I'm sorry to be done with the job, to tell you the truth."

"Is it hard?" I asked.

"You don't sleep. You don't rest. You're always on the job. No breaks. No vacations. No end until the damn birds pick someone else. Hard?" he said. "It's a piece of cake."

I smiled at Freddie. "So, what will you do, Sheriff?" I asked him.

"Call me Freddie," he said with an ironic grin. "First, Sheriff, I'm going to go take a fucking nap. Then, when I wake up, I'm going to take another one. Then, after, that," he started walking away, "I'm going to do whatever the hell I want to do. Good luck." And then he was gone.

58

Aphter: 56

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56

The unrest was already starting to get to me by the time I finished my report. I had been in Aphter for almost twenty-four hours, going over the details with Dad at his place.

"I have to tell you, Simon," Inuichuk said, "I feel as though too much has been shared with too many during this ordeal. We weaken ourselves when we are too open outside of our order."

I looked around the round table at those in the room, one of the smaller meeting rooms in Knight's Hall. Dad was sitting to my right and Inuichuk across from me. To my left was Sheriff Wayne and beside him was Al Hall, the Detective killed by the Fates at Il Forno. Inuichuk had invited Al to join and allowed him to be here even though he had not yet accepted the invitation because these matters involved both him and his father. Sheriff Wayne was still pretty drained from his long ghosting, but the week since his return had already restored him enough to join us.

"I assure you, Lord, that I shared only with people I felt I could trust and I shared no more than was necessary."

Inuichuk stared down at the table in silence, wearing his dissatisfaction in the lines of his forehead. "So," he said finally, "the Dread k'mek is still at large. His cohorts, both the Fates and the humans, are gone, though I cannot imagine to where the Fates have gone. I've never known of a Fate Rest. David?"

"No," Dad said. "But, who knows?"

"We should have captures and held that Dread," Inuichuk said, glancing at me. "We cannot know what Joseph may have told him."

"I'm sorry," I said. "When I awoke from the daze of the song, the Dread was gone."

At this Inuichuk exhaled deeply and looked up at this ceiling. "I do not like this song," he said. "It sounds powerful and dangerous."

"Well, it seems only to affect Fates," I said.

"It rendered you helpless and dazed, did it not?" he asked, frowning.

"For a moment, yes."

"That is powerful," he said.

"Well, he's easily distracted," Dad teased. "I'm sure it wouldn't affect a normal person."

Inuichuk was not amused. "I want you to keep an eye on this girl, Simon," he said. "When she is older, convince her to join us. I don't like that kind of power unless it's on our side."

"I intend to keep in touch with her," I said. "I'm pretty sure none of the other Fates know about her, but, if they find out, she'll never have peace."

"And you will convince her to join us?" he asked, not being deflected.

"I can try, when she's older," I said.

"Fair enough," he clapped his hands. "Now," he said, "what about your legal troubles? Do you need legal council? Do you expect to be charged with a crime?"

"I don't know," I said. "I think I'm okay for now, but I'll take a phone number for a lawyer if you've got one. This Sergeant Morris is no dummy. She knows I'm not telling her everything."

"Betty's a bulldog," Al said. "She won't be easy to fool with some cover story. I'd be as truthful with her as you can."

"Well, they found Romeo's prints on the gun," I said, looking at Al. "Still, I can't explain the coma thing. The cops want someone to prosecute."

"Police Officers," Sheriff Wayne snapped.

"Detectives, actually," Al said, smiling at his dad. "But that's okay."

"For now, I'm not supposed to leave town," I said. "So, I should get back soon."

"Yes," Inuichuk said. "We don't need any more attention. Let things die down and stay low for a while."

"Gladly," I answered.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash somewhere nearby in Knight's Hall. Dad, Inuichuk and I jumped to our feet.

"What the hell?" Dad said, and he ran to the door and pulled it open. Knights were running down the hallway. "What happened?" Dad yelled after them.

"Dark Angel!" one yelled back. "Heading for the Block!"

"What did he say?" Inuichuk asked, reaching the door.

"Ravens!" Dad answered. "In the Block! Simon, come on!"

"What's happening?" Al asked as I ran to follow Dad and Inuichuk into the hall.

"Intruders!" I yelled back, but I didn't stick around to explain. Al stayed behind with his dad. I ran down to the room I knew was the entry to Block, arriving with a small group of Knights. Together we followed Dad and Inuichuk down the stairs. Having already been without rest for almost a day, the physical effort was draining, and there was no adrenaline reaction to help out. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I could hear Dad cursing.

"Damn Ravens!" he said. "We have our fucking rights!" He cursed and raged in front of the empty third cell in the block. The ceiling of the cell was broken in, and shattered chunks of stone rubble lay all around. There were also black feathers scattered on the floor of the cell.

"What happened?" I asked Inuichuk. Ignoring the question, he took a small, round stone from his pocket and touched it to the bars of the cell. The bars slid, with a grating noise, down into the stone of the floor. I followed Inuichuk into the cell and, scrambling over the debris, looked up through the hole in the ceiling. It went through s couple more layers of stone and, way up above, through the outside wall of Knight's Hall. You could see the sky above and the light of the Lightstone streaming in.

"A Dark Angel has come and taken our prisoner," Inuichuk said. "But why?"

I looked at the destruction. I had never seen a Raven in Dark Angel form, but I'd heard about them. Looking at the hole in the thick stone above, I realized that all the stories were true. "You mean Joseph?" I asked Inuichuk? "They took Joseph?"

"Yes," he said.

"Lord," came a female voice from among the Knights in the room. Turning, I saw a tall, dark-skinned woman with a long spear. I did not know her name. "I saw the Raven, Lord. It was Sama."

Inuichuk stared at her. "You are sure, Akisha?"

"I know it, Lord. It was Sama."

I looked at Dad, who had come into the cell to peer up through the gaping hole. He shook his head. "Sama? But why?" he said. "Why?"

57

Aphter: 55

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55

Sergeant Betty Morris glared at me from across the table. "I feel like there are things you're not telling me, Mr. Sayer," she said. "Parts of this story make no sense at all." We were sitting at a small able in the back room at Il Forno. The place was crawling with cops, and they were all pissed. Detective Al Hall's body in the walk-in freezer with a bullet in its head had them all itching for blood, and the idea that the only two people to blame appeared to be comatose did not provide their sense of violent outrage with the outlet it desired.

"It's all true," I lied. It was mostly true, but I had to invent a few things. They'd never have believed the full truth about certain things. "Which parts?"

"Tell me again how you got involved?" she said, reading over her notes to see if I told the same story.

I kept it simple. "Darla is a friend of mine. When she wasn't at the shop, I swung by her place to see what was up. Amy was there alone and scared. I took her with me. That's it."

"Where were you when Detective Hall had your car towed?" Still reading her notes.

"We were staying with Sam. We met at the gas station and went to dinner. I thought Amy would enjoy her company until her mom turned up. We kept meaning to go get my car, but we spaced on it for a couple of days. If there's a fine for leaving it there, besides what I already paid at the impound, I'll be glad to pay it."

Darla, Amy and Sam were all there, sitting in chairs against the wall. They had all confirmed the details. Sergeant Morris glanced over at them again. Darla nodded. Sam stared at the ground. She was still pissed with me, but she had gone along with the story.

"Sergeant!" It was a detective yelling from the front room. "We have the weapon."

"Good," I thought. I had decided to play totally dumb on the Detective and the gun. There was no way to work it into my story. I figured they would find it.

The sergeant stared at me, looking for any reaction to the gun. I just stared back at her, trying to look like a guy who didn't know anything. "Stay here," she said, and she got up and walked toward the front of the store. "Don't touch it," she called out to the officer in the front.

I was glad she was gone. I sat back in my chair and exhaled, reaching up to rub the swollen bruise on my cheek. Sam had given me that after we crawled out from under the house. I had seen it coming, and I was pretty sure I could have stopped her, but I didn't. I stopped the second one, though. She could punch surprisingly hard. She hated me. I didn't blame her.

At that point we heard the back door open in the utlity room. Another police officer came through the door, and Cami came in after her. When Sam saw her she jumped up and ran to her. I wouldn't have thought either of them could cry any more, but they did. Amy walked over to them and Cami bent down and hugged her too. They were all just overwhelmed to be safe and to see each other.

I couldn't look at Cami and Sam; the guilt was too much. I turned and gave Darla a weak smile and looked down at my hands. Turning them over so I could see the palms, I stared into them. Without thinking, I began to end my finger and rub the tips across my palms, staring blankly into the emptiness there. When I realized what I was doing, and where I had picked it up, I shook my hands to cast off the habit and shoved them into my pockets.

"There are clear prints on that weapon," the Sergeant said, returning to the table. "Can you tell me whose they are?" She sat back in her chair across from me and stared into my eyes.

"No, ma'am, I cannot," I lied. "But I can assure you that they are not mine."

Sam and Cami were still hugging. Looking over at them, I saw Cami staring at me as Sam whispered into her ear. She was telling Cami the story. Would she go along? When she saw me glancing at her, Cami gave me a little smile and look quickly away. She and Sam separated and, to my relief, I saw Cami give Sam a subtle nod.

"Let's talk again about the noose," the Sergeant said. "You said you cut it with a cleaver that Mr. di Marti had been holding as a weapon."

"That's right," I lied.

"And when he collapsed you grabbed it and cut Ms. Montagne down from the noose."

"Yes."

She glanced over at Darla, who nodded earnestly. "And then you took it with you in the car, the..." She glanced down at her notes. "...black Lexus. You took it for protection."

"Yes ma'am."

"But it's not there now."

"It was there when he took the car," I lied.

"And Ms. Montagne, neither you nor your daughter know what happened to it?" The Sergeant looked over at Darla.

"No," Darla said. "Maybe he threw it out or something."

It was a weak story, but it was easy to remember and had no details to forget.

Sergeant Morris glanced up at the wall, looking right at the huge cut where my blade had sliced into the wall. "Must have been really sharp," she said. "That's a strong rope."

"It went straight through it," I lied.

"You're a butcher Ms. Montagne?" the Sergeant asked, looking again at Darla.

"Yes I am."

"Why do you think a baker would need a cleaver like that, Ms. Montagne?"

"Well," Darla responded, looking the Sergeant directly in the eye. "It's not really my field, but maybe he kept it because he was a murderer and a psychopath." Damn! She was good.

At that the Sergeant actually smiled a little and dropped her head. "Maybe," she said softly. She let her eyes wander over her notes for a minute, not really reading them. Then, sighing, she looked up at me. "Mr. Sayer," she said, "Al Hall was my friend. Your story might well be true, but there are things about it I don't like at all. I also don't like having two prime suspects in mysterious comas that no one can explain to me."

"They just collapsed," I said. "Maybe a doctor could tell you what happened. It was really weird."

She frowned and shook her head to clear it. "You've all had a long day," she said. "It's almost dawn, and I'm tired. I'm going to have officers take you each to your homes. You can get some rest. Do not go anywhere. Anywhere. We will be talking with all of you some more. We're keeping all the vehicles for now."

"May I get some..." I started.

"No you may not," she snapped.

"I don't want to go home," Sam said. "Not alone."

"Me neither," said Cami.

"You can all come to my place," Darla said. "We have plenty of room."

I looked over at the Sergeant. She nodded. "We'll leave a car outside," she said. "This investigation is not over. Stay in that house until we tell you otherwise." She looked around and we all nodded to show that we understood. "Good," she said. "I'm very sorry this happened to you. Please wait here and I'll get some officers to take you to Ms. Montagne's house." She stood with a quick goodbye nod and walked away.

I looked over at the others. Sam and Cami were staring at the ground. Darla was staring at the ceiling. Only Amy looked back at me. She gave me a little smile and I smiled back.

"You did it, Simon" she said quietly.

"We did," I said.

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54

"No good guys and no bad guys," I muttered to myself as I leaned against the cold brick wall beside the payphone on which Joseph would soon call. "Heroes and monsters." I tried to think about it. That's what Joseph had wanted to tell me. It seemed dumb. Of course there were bad guys. Of course there were good guys.

It was pretty late at night, though I wasn't sure what time and I didn't especially want to look. Watching the clock just made the waiting seem longer, and I hated waiting. As I sat on the concrete sidewalk leaning against the wall, I was reminded of returning from Aphter with Amy to find the car gone and waiting outside the gas station just like this for Sam to arrive.

Sam. My stomach pulsed in new anxiety when I thought about her. I wondered where she was. She couldn't be far away. I knew she was probably terrified, though I doubted she was in any real danger. I felt sure that neither Joseph nor Hael would hurt her. She couldn't know that, though. Had I only known what I was getting into I'd never have called her that night.

And what was I into, exactly? I had stumbled into... No. I hadn't stumbled into it. I had been lured into the middle of a plot by a Knight, a Dread and some Fates to... to what? To find the Dread Keystone? To expose the deception of the Knights? Did that make us the bad guys? Sure, we were breaking the Raven law, but that couldn't be as important as rescuing the Host. What sort of legalism was that? They held millions of human souls in restless torture as slaves. Hell, not even slaves. They couldn't possibly be any more than wailing shadows by now. Unable to rest. Unable to die. We weren't even sure that the healers would be able to bring them back from such a state.

No bad guys? How was the Demiurge not a bad guy? He had delivered us into slavery in exchange for what? Some bit of trivia to satisfy his curiosity? That's what I had been taught. How were the Dread not bad guys? They had taken all of humanity into torturous slavery. They were monsters.

Monsters and heroes. Why is that a lie? How were the original Knights not heroes? They had risked all, many of them falling into the hands of Hell themselves, to redeem humanity from that pit. Since then we all had worked to prepare for the rescue of the Host. The service and preservation of humanity was our only purpose. In what way was that not heroic?

Joseph, however benevolent he might be, was confused. As I thought it, I came to a strange realization. I wanted to believe him. I wanted him to be right. I wanted him to teach me something true, something I did not know. I wanted him to change me. Nevertheless, he'd only sent one message to me, and I couldn't make any sense of it. I couldn't align my thoughts with a sentiment that ran contrary to my own judgment. Joseph was wrong.

Maybe I could talk to Hael again before he Joseph's body died. Maybe I could ask him what Joseph meant. If the things he told me earlier were true, he should understand what Joseph meant. Maybe, before I killed him, I could understand.

"RING"

I jumped up quickly, startled but anxious, and grabbed the phone, "Yes?" I said.

"Simon?" It was Joseph's voice.

"Yes."

"There is an empty house near the bakery." He gave me the address. "She is under the house, bound and gagged. Goodbye." He hung up.

I slammed down the phone and ran to the SUV. Luckily the streets were pretty empty as I raced back toward the bakery. As I drove, I pulled the GPS tracker phone from my pocket and looked for a signal. Good! Still strong. I didn't look to see where they were, I just put it back in my pocket and drove on.

When I got to the neighborhood I drove a block or two until I found the street. It ran behind Il Forno. I checked the house numbers. The house would be on the next block. When I saw the address and pulled up to the curb in front, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or curse. There was my Monte Carlo, parked in the driveway. I had been here! Right here! Hell!

I got out of the car and looked at the house. It was, as I'd expected, and old pier and beam Craftsman house. Stopping just long enough to get a flashlight from the trunk of my car, I ran to the back of the house, looking desperately for the opening into the crawlspace under the house.

Then the phone rang. Who the hell? I reached into my pocket, but it wasn't my regular phone. I reached into my other pocket and brought out the GPS phone. It was ringing. The Caller ID said "GPS 2." It was Amy's phone calling. My heart sank. Joseph must have found it on her. If he ditched it, as he surely would, how would I find them? The phone continued to ring. I reached down nervously and pressed the answer button, raising the phone to my cheek.

"Hello?" I said.

"Simon?" It was Amy! What was she doing! She was going to get caught!

"What are you doing?" I said, whispering loudly into the phone. "Hide the phone!"

"It's okay," she said. "We're okay now."

I didn't understand. "What?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"We're okay," she said. "You don't have to worry. My mom says she knows where we are. We can come meet you."

I still didn't understand. "Where is Joseph?" I asked.

"He's here, but it's okay. He's like Romeo. I think the Fate is gone."

Then it dawned on me. "You sang the song."

"It worked!" she squealed. "We waited until he stopped to call you. Once he heard me singing, he just got this smile on his face and sat very still. Then he slumped over. He's gone."

It was so obvious, but it had never occurred to me. "Wow," I said. "Great thinking, kid."

"Where are you?" she asked, her voice happy and excited.

"Meet us at Il Forno," I said. "Stay in the car and keep the doors locked."

"Us?" she said. "Do you have Sam?"

"I think so. I've got to go. Good job, Amy. You're amazing." I hung up and couldn't help smiling. I was flooded with relief. Amy and Darla were safe. Even more than that, however, I felt the release of a tension that had held my heart like a grip for hours. "I don't have to kill him," I whispered to myself. I sighed and tears welled up in the corners of my eyes as I spotted the opening at last.

"Sam?" I called out, shining the light into the center of the two-foot space between the ground and the beams overhead. She was there, tied to the center pier of the house. Her eyes were wide with joy or fear when the light hit her face. "It's Simon," I said. "Everything's going to be okay, Sam."

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