If someone asked you the question, "What do you want?" could you answer it? Do you know what you want?
Because I don't. Well, I might. I asked myself, and I didn't know. I really didn't. For the past twenty-one years, you see, I was along for the ride with a competent, intelligent (and beautiful) woman who had a plan for what we wanted out of life and I didn't know all the details but I was happy to just go with it because she was smarter and she had ideas and I really hadn't thought about it. But then she got cancer and then she died. And now I feel like all the momentum she built up is dissipating and I'm coasting to a stop, which isn’t good. I'm only 41 years old, after all. I plan to live to be 200 (at least), so 94% of my life is still in front of me. (I think. I'm no math expert.) So now I have to decide what I want in life. And I don't know. But I've been thinking about it and I'm starting to get some ideas.
- I want my children to grow and develop independent, autonomous lives, so that their potential to thrive is not bounded by mine, so that they can continue to thrive after my inevitable death, and so that I can enjoy, once they're grown, an independent, autonomous life that I have never known.
- Regarding material possessions I want a life that is small and simple enough that I can fully inhabit it, that I can fully understand it, that I can afford it without extravagances of money, that I can use and care for it properly, consisting of things characterized by efficacy, sustainability, reliability and beauty.
- I want to continue learning all my life, focusing on knowledge, skill and wisdom that increases the happiness and well-being of everyone in my life, including me.
- I want to pass my days in a healthy balance of working, spending time alone in self-improvement and relaxation and spending time with other people in love, service, fun and peace.
That’s what I’ve got so far. And I know I need more, and I need specifics, but it’s a start. I’m okay with it.
Hello, friends. I hope you’re well.