Maybe I should go back to school, something to fill my time. I could study math. Math has always been a weakness of mine. I wonder if knowing math would change my personality in some way. Maybe I'm not meant to know math. Maybe knowing math would drive me insane. I don't want to play games. I know that. I cannot stand the wasted potential and energy that games represent to me. I want to produce something or to learn something. I don't want to get into television shows or play games or take up some crafty hobby that produces things no one needs. Maybe I could get really into fitness, with abs and whatnot. I could spend all my time jogging or biking or climbing to the top of things the hard way. I'm done with romance and intimacy of the sexual sort. It's just so complicated and fraught with stress, insecurity and compromise. I've had the love of my life and it was enough, I think. Also I don't want religion or empty socializing. I'm not interested in traveling, all that time and money just to see things and places that are so far away from your life and your people and then you come home and here you are again. I want to write, but I have no inspiration right now. Maybe I could throw myself into art or Do-It-Yourself home improvement. If I take up cooking I'll get fatter and my diabetes will kill me, unless I took up really healthy cooking, which doesn't sound like fun. Maybe I could secrete thin strands of silk from glands around my mouth and wrap myself into a tight, giant cocoon and wait patiently to see what comes out after all the metamorphosis and whatnot. It might be a monster, though, like something from a bad Gojira movie. I don't know. Something. Something else. Something. Maybe I'll study math. Maybe I'll grow wings and learn to fly. That would be fun. For a while.
Hello, friends. I hope you're well.
Later. Love.
