The secret ingredient in my Nightmare Vegetarian Chili is terrorism. I don't tell people because everyone has a great sensitivity about terrorism these days. I don't support terrorism, but I do cook with it. It just has this wicked depth and merciless kick that you cannot get from any other ingredient. Just after I finish browning the veggies and spices I add three heaping teaspoons of imported terrorism and a half-tablespoon of the domestic stuff, which is much worse but has a familiar flavor that people find more palatable for some reason. I don't know why I'm drawn to unpopular and controversial ingredients in my cooking, but I've always been this way. I put religious fundamentalism in my barbecue spice rub. That amazing twist in my salsa? Homophobia and fascism. You'd love the intolerance in my banana milkshake, unless you're sensitive to the lactose. Once I won a state fair ribbon with strawberry preserves that were anti-Semitic. (Well, they had anti-Semitism in them, anyway.) Cooking brings us together. We may not agree about everything, but that doesn't mean we cannot eat our fears if they're prepared in a delicious way. This is what I love most about humanity. Bon appétit!
Hello friends. I trust you're well. I certainly hope you are.