The rock troll that we hired as a temp programmer, Andy, is not working out. Don't get me wrong, his work is great. It's timely and clean and well-documented. There's no problem with his work. It's just that he's not fitting in with everyone else. He doesn't fit in socially and he barely fits in physically. He looms over in the corner of the conference room during presentations and tries not to make growling noises or drool on anyone. Also, since he lives in a mud bog near the river a few blocks away, he smells awful. Just really awful. And then there's the "smokers" thing. You see, smokers have been disappearing from outside the building ever since we hired Andy, and many people believe he's been eating them. I have to admit, there's a good chance that he has. Under "Hobbies" on his application he wrote "eating smokers". I guess I shouldn't have hired him, since we have smokers in our company, but I thought the "smokers" to which he was referring were a type of sausage or something. I mean, it sounds like something English people might call sausages, doesn't it? Smokers? Anyway, I'm going to have to fire him, and I'm really not looking forward to it. I hate firing people, even if they deserve it. It's never easy or fun taking away someone's livelihood. It makes me feel bad. And with Andy it's going to be even harder. I really like Andy. There's just something about him that I relate to. I don't know what it is. Most of all, though, I dread firing him because I'm pretty sure he's going to murder and eat me in a monstrous rage. Sure, we're going to have a security guard waiting outside my office door to escort Andy out, but, I mean, what is she going to do? Andy is, like, eleven feet tall and stronger than thirty men. He could level this whole place. She's got a walkie-talkie and a flashlight. I'm doomed. I was going to call in sick, but they'll just let him stay until I get back. It won't help. I might as well get it over with. [sigh] This is why I hate management jobs. Wish me luck.
Hello, friends. I hope you're well. I'm fine.
Later. Love.
