Things You Can Count On [sic]

There are, believe it or not, things on which you can count in life. To be more clear and less correct, there are things you can count on. Here are a few:

• If you buy the right kind of soil, put it in the right sort of vessel, plant the right species of seed and provide the right type of care, a beautiful flowering plant will grow. It's true. You can count on it.
• If you drive to the Grand Canyon with a watermelon in your car, park as close to the edge as they let you, walk the remaining distance with the watermelon under your arm and throw the watermelon as far as you can out into the abyss, the watermelon will fall into the Grand Canyon and smash to tasty bits on the rocks below. It's true. It will. It's completely reliable.
• If you cover your hair with hairspray and then light a match and toss it into your hair you will set your hair on fire. Count on it.
• If you pour cold milk into a tall, clean glass, add just the right portion of chocolate syrup or sweetened cocoa powder and then stir appropriately, you will have a perfect glass of chocolate milk. No other result is possible.
• If you marinate a five pound beef roast in Italian dressing for about four hours, preheat a properly working oven to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, heat a bit of olive oil in a large, nonstick, cast iron skillet, sear the roast well on all sides, wrap the roast - fat side up - in foil, pouring the drippings from the skillet over it, place it in a large, shallow baking pan, and put it in the oven for at least six hours, maybe a bit more, you will have a delicious roast of beef. It always works.
• If you put one hand softly on the side of the neck of a woman who loves you in the right way, put the other on the back of her hip, pull her close, and kiss her softly on the lips, she will kiss you back. I have found this to be foolproof.

I'm sure there are some things I have missed. If I asked you to list more, I'm sure I could count on you to do so. I've learned this about you. I'm not asking anything of you, however. I'm just happy you stopped by.

Hello, friends. How are you today?

Later. Love.

P. S.: Though any of you who are my Facebook friends or Twitter followers have heard, I feel, in the interest of disclosure and by way of explanation of any change that might become apparent in the mood of this site, that I should let you know frankly what is happening in my reality. Yesterday we learned that Susan, my wife, has cancer in her esophagus. We don't know yet the extent or stage or even type of cancer. Tests begin tomorrow to discover all of this. So, the future has become even more of a mystery to us than the future always has been. So, there it is. That's what's happening. Thanks for stopping by.