People who should have cancer instead of my wife:
- The creepy king from the Burger King commercials. Seriously, I hate that dude.
- The bleachy, tanny, blingy lady who screams into her cell phone EVERY DAY at the coffee shop and has the most soul-murderingly shallow and trite and mean-spirited conversations with what can only be other evil, soulless people. Okay, so I don't really want her to have cancer, but what about laryngitis?
- Spambots.
- Wolverine. (Cause, you know, he would just heal and be okay. I have nothing against Wolverine. If you see him please make sure he understands this.)
- That lady in The Wizard of Oz who takes away Dorothy's dog. What a bitch that lady is, right? She's just awful. She needs cancer SO BAD.
- That "God Hates Fags" preacher guy. Not really. I do want SO BAD for that guy to be struck by lightning, though. Wouldn't that just be awesome? You know it would be. Can lightning make you gay? Cause that would also be great.
Okay, I can't go on with this list. I wouldn't really wish cancer on anyone. Except that Wizard of Oz lady. She's the worst person ever. I'm glad she's imaginary.
Hello, friends. Who should have cancer? Tell me.
Later. Love.
