I worked out last night. For twenty minutes. That brings the total time I've worked out in the last five years up to a grand sum of: twenty minutes. I hope to double that soon.
I was going to use this post to teach all of you guys the secrets of successful workouts, what with my vast expertise and everything. I decided instead that I should blather for a change. Here goes. I'm about to blather. Ready? Let's begin.
A television is only good if you turn it on, and even then it isn't usually very good. You cannot drive a television to work. You cannot fly a television to the moon. You cannot have consensual sex with a television. I'm sure someone somewhere has made a boat out of a television for one of those wacky boat contests. I bet it didn't win.
What is my point?
Satellite television is superior to cable television because it is less risky. With cable television there is always a chance that someone will dig up the cable, tie it to the bumper of their pickup truck, put the transmission in low gear and steal every single television from an entire neighborhood. It happens all the time. You can't do that with satellite television. Why? Because there's no way to get the pickup truck into outer space.
One key to a successful workout is getting off the couch. It's very hard to work out on the couch. I should know. I worked out last night.
Hello, friends. How are you today?
Later. Love.
