Thou shalt not dress up thine Chihuahua in stereotypical Mexican garb and neither shalt thou pose thine Chihuahua for pictures neither cute nor adorable. With respect shalt thou treat thine Chihuahua from now until the end of days.
I'm making my own religious book, King James style. I don't have nearly enough rules yet, but I'm writing down all the ones that cross my mind.
Who art thou, oh Man, that thou ridest so close upon mine bumper? Hasten to slow your following lest you touch mine car. In wrath shall mine foot come down upon the brake. To whom shall you turn when the insurance companies come for the flesh of your body? And it shall be, verily, all your fault. Follow me, therefore, but back the hell off a bit.
Let it be known that this donut of chocolate is mine own. Touch not mine donut of chocolate. Though I go away for a season, surely I shalt return, mine sceptre and mine coffee in mine hand. Woe unto thee, oh children of mine loins, if, returning, no donut of chocolate I find in this place. There will be weeping, and wailing and washing of dishes.
Unto she who waits upon me do I say, "Callest thou these eggs over medium? Thou must be kidding. Rememberest thou not when I beseeched thee that my eggs be over medium? Where now is thine tip? But, that you might know that I am merciful, I shall allow you one chance to replace these eggs with ones over medium. Bring not unto me again eggs such as these, lest I tip you not."
Those with eyes, let them read mine laws and let them obey. Or not. That's cool too.
Hello, friends. How are you today?
Love.
