Some statements make you feel old just by uttering them. For example:
- Summon the leech. These vapors will be the death of me!
- I like Ike.
- Hello, my name is Ethel.
- My son is about to start Driver's Ed.
In my case, it's the last statement that I've actually said, because it's true. My son, River, is about to start Driver's Ed. (Man that makes me feel old.) Within a few months I will pass my car on to him and buy myself a new car. This scares the hell out of me. Look on the bright side though: At least my insurance premium will double.
I can't talk about that any more.
I was asked yesterday whether speaking to a group makes me nervous. No. It doesn't. I'm a natural entertainer. I'm a Song and Dance man. Well, I don't dance. I just feel too self-conscious. I'm particularly averse to exotic dancing. I always, in fact, get "No Nudity" clauses in all of my contracts. It's better this way for everyone. Trust. Me. I like to keep my clothes on. I guess I'm more of a Song and Pants man.
I know what some of you are thinking. "But, Scott, what about your porn web cam site, http://www.ScottAfterDark.com?" Well, that's a different thing. That's art.
Hello, friends. How about you?
Love.
