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Like most Americans, I can't stop watching the E! Channel. Ever since I first heard that Heath Ledger died, I've been sitting here in front of the tube, crying. "Come to bed, Scott," Susan called to me last night. "I can't," I sobbed. "I have to know what Ryan Seacrest thinks about all of this. I need him to make sense of the world for me again." I wish I could quit you, E!! I'm just being silly. I mean no disrespect. I find his death exactly as tragic as I find every death. My condolences to his family and friends. Enough of that. Moving on. Sometimes people ask me, "Do you ever miss being a superhero? Do you miss the excitement?" I'll be honest, I really don't. Most people don't know this, but superheroing is mostly paperwork. The hours suck. The clothes only look good on you if you're in perfect shape. Put on one or two pounds and those suits show everything. Plus, you only see the bad in the world. I mean the really bad. We're talking organized evil here. It's a terrible job and I'd never want to do it again. The only part I miss, to be honest, is the free coffee. Most convenience stores and coffee shops give superheroes free coffee. That was pretty sweet. The job I really miss is my old job as an English botanist. I miss cold, dewy mornings with the flora. I miss watching grass grow. I miss logging trees. I miss the springtimes spent tracking the blooming of the Erica shrubs in my heath ledger. Hello, friends. How are you? Love. |
