Hey, Motorheads! What's up wit'choo? How y'all doin'?
Well, it's Friday and I know why you're all here. You're here expectin' the Friday Pit Stop!®, my weekly NASCAR® review. Well, guess what? I ain't doin' it. I ain't doin' it today and I ain't never doin' it again. Plus I'm not goin' to say "ain't" any more. Plus I'm going to start add the "g" on the end of my words that end in "-ing." In short, my days pretending to be a stereotypical, Southern Motorhead are over. Truth be told, I've never really been a fan of auto racing and I've never even attended nor viewed a presentation of the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing. I've been living an awful lie, and I just can't bring myself to do it any longer. I've never even worked on my own truck. In fact, I don't really own a truck. I drive a Scion. I take it to a mechanic to have it maintained. A gay mechanic.
In spite of all of this, and in spite of the awful lie I've been perpetuating for all these many years, I hope you can find it in your heart to stick around here. There won't be car racing reports, but there will be poetry and anecdotes and witty banter. Sometimes I craft stirring metaphors. I do. Hang in here with me and maybe you'll learn something. I guess what I'm really asking is this: Y'all come back now, ya hear?
Hello, friends. How are you today?
Later. Love.
