I am a thundering maelstrom of mildness! I am a roiling tempest of moderation! Tread lightly with me! Anger me, and you will feel the full force of my wrath like tickly fingers on your back and shoulder blades! You have been warned!
That's quite enough of that. Consider this paragraph a segue. Transition your mind to the next point. Take your time. I'll wait. Ready? Good. Let's go.
I've never been able to sharpen a knife blade. This is how I know that I'll never survive if civilization collapses. How can I rebuild the Internet from scratch if I can't even sharpen a knife blade? I'd be doomed, a lost dullard with a blunt blade.
It's not that I haven't tried. I've read the instructions many, many, many times. I'm good at reading instructions. It's what I do. You wouldn't believe how many things I know how to do perfectly in my brain. In my brain I know how to play the guitar and the piano like a master. In reality, however, I'm a novice at both. It's the same with knife sharpening. I know all the rules for various contraptions, some simple and some complex. I've even tried to apply them. On multiple occasions in my life I've gathered all the equipment together and sat down with a cup of coffee or maybe a soda and even a snack to master blade sharpening. In each case I've spent seconds, minutes even, trying with all my might to sharpen a blade correctly. Pretty quickly, however, my drink and snack are gone and my mind has moved on to guitar playing or mastery of the piano. I always leave the sharpening equipment and the blade there, usually for months, intending to get back to them soon. I'm not sure who puts them away, but eventually they're gone and I don't think about knife sharpening again for a long time. Whenever I think about it, however, I still can't do it. I'm not sure what the problem is. Maybe I'm just too smart.
But, that's enough of that. I can't even remember why I wanted to talk about this when I started writing. I think I'm going to go practice juggling.
Hello, friends. How are you today?
Later. Love.
P. S. - Aphter: 51. Thanks for stopping by.
