The sky was pink and purple. You probably think I'm kidding, but I'm not. Maybe you think these were the brilliant pinks and purples of the sunset. Nope. Wrong. The sky was pink and purple because a group of stunt jets had just come through with pink and purple smokers making patterns all over the sky. I know there's no way you could have known that before I told you, so I don't blame you for being wrong.
This is a story about Charlie Baster. Helluva surname, isn't it? Baster? Sounds like bastard. But Charlie wasn't a bastard, he was a great guy. Charlie was a stunt pilot. All his life he dreamed of being an accountant, but he could never make it as an accountant. He'd always add things wrong or break his computer or accidentally embezzle millions of dollars. Try though he might, Charlie could never break successfully into the world of accounting. So, he took the only job he could find. He became a stunt pilot for the Air Force. He flew a jet at supersonic speed. He flew the purple smoke jet. He hated his job.
You know what, this story isn't working at all. I've completely forgotten where I was going with it. Instead, here's something else.
We found out today that someone used our checking account debit card number on December 4th to buy $696 worth of tickets from Ticket Master. Man, oh man. I hope they catch the person. I hope they teach the person right from wrong. I hope the person has an epiphany of decency and goes on to become President of the United States of America. That's what I hope. If I actually had to lose the $696, however, I would hope other things, things too dark to express here on a family-friendly blog.
Hey, here's something else: We have a giant circle in our backyard where the grass has all died. We used to have a trampoline, but my nephew broke it on Thanksgiving. I'm glad. I hated the trampoline. Now we don't have a trampoline*. Now we just have a circle.
Hello, friends. What was I saying?
*Actually, we have a broken trampoline behind the shed.