It was on this day almost a hundred years ago that a man in Idaho invented the first mechanical Mars polisher. "What does it do?" "It polishes Mars." "The planet?" "Yessir." "Does it work?" "Not from Idaho. You got to put it on Mars." Demand for the device was low, as it turns out, and the man died penniless. What he lacked in money, though, he made up for in crazy.
It was also on this day a few weeks ago that, for the first time in history, a woman was brought to tears of nostalgia by the song YMCA by The Village People. "Those were simpler times," she sighed, staring across her steaming coffee cup at the sun coming up over the prairie.
Meanwhile, in a dimly-lit room in the basement of an abandoned clown shoe factory in Arizona, an older Italian gentleman in an Armani suit stares through his cigar smoke at the greybeard wizard tied to the chair across the room. "We can make this hard or we can make this easy, capisce?" says the old man in his best Joe Pesci voice. "gishbar ia zi ia ia zi dingir girra kanpa," mutters the wizard, struggling to free his wand hand.
My point is this: Has anyone noticed that Mars looks a little dull lately? It's lost some lustre. I wonder what we can do about that?
Hello, friends. Tell me something interesting.
Later. Love.
