My teleportation device is almost working. It just has one bug left to overcome. I have to be honest, though, it's a troubling bug and I have no clues what might be causing it.
Here's the deal. You put a person in the "From" booth. You make sure there are no flies in there with them. You hit the "Just Do It" button. They disappear from the "From" booth and reappear in the "To" booth. Sounds good so far, doesn't it? Here's the problem: The person who comes out of the "To" booth is always the Hip-Hop version of the person who went into the "From" booth. Sending them through again only increases the Hip-Hop. Somewhere, during the transfer, they pick up bling.
I tried to convince my investors that this glitch was not an issue. "It's cool to be Hip-Hop," I said. They disagree. They don't feel people will want to use teleportation as a means of transportation if their basic aesthetic sensibility will be affected. I suggested to them that we just sell the device to the Hip-Hop community. "They've got lots of money," I said. Experimentation, however, found that normal, cool Hip-Hop people, after making the jump, turn into hyper-Hip-Hop people. They go all the way to a level of Hip-Hop we've called "Flavor Flav". I've thought about enlisting Flavor Flav to actually go through the device (he seems to take any project offered to him these days), but I'm not sure society could handle whatever came out of the "To" booth.
I'm stumped. If I can't get this thing fixed, my work will come to nothing. My son River, or R-Dog as he likes to be called now, suggested that something was "all fuzizzle with the shizzle". He might be right. As a last ditch experiment, I've created what I hope will function as a bling filter. It's in place now. Wish me luck. I'm going through.
[BZZZZZZZ POW!]
Aw, HELL naw!
Peace out, y'all. 'Sup?
Later. Love.
