I have a confession to make. I am slow to make it, because I fear some of you, seeing my true nature, may leave and never return. Nevertheless, a proper respect for truth demands that I be forthright. Let me set the stage. Sometimes I post stories about Chuck, a gnome that lives in my back garden. They describe slow, awkward conversations I have with him from time to time. In the stories, I always describe these subtle but odd little gnomish habits of his. In one story, for example, I described him picking up a small spider from the grass and letting it crawl over his fingers as he spoke to me. Maybe you've read these posts, some of you.
Well, I have a confession. It's about Chuck, my gnome. Whew... Here goes... Don't worry, Scott... People will still like you... Okay... Okay... Here it is: Chuck didn't really pick up a spider. He just sat there that day and didn't do anything interesting at all while he was talking. I added the spider to give the story a little more color. I try, I hope you believe me, to always tell the truth in my posts. Like that one where I described my ninja invisibility training? Every word of it was true. EVERY WORD.
Please pardon me. I will try to do better. I DO realize the responsibility I bear as the host of this blog.
And now, as a bribe to get you to stay here and not forsake me, I'll post something "popular" that people seem to enjoy. In the spirit of honesty, I have to tell you I am stealing this idea from Brandon. A couple of times he has posted posts in which he begged people to insult him and berate him. These posts have always prompted an enthusiastic response, so I'm going to do the same thing here.
So, here's the deal: Use the comments section of this post to leave insulting comments about Brandon. Funny ones are preferred, but they should include elements of what you really hate about the guy.
In fact, let me expand the scope a bit. Leave an insulting post about anyone. Anyone at all. There is only one caveat: It has to be someone you actually like and hold in high regard. Insults for people you actually hate aren't funny.
Another caveat: Please don't insult ME. Only other people. I am delicate like a daisy and I will crumble into dust if I suspect that any of you have anything but warm, abundant love for me.
Hello, friends. Let the [ironic] insults fly. Heck, go ahead and insult me too. Go for it!
Later. Love.
P. S. - I was going to pimp my new poem at my cogito site, but I've changed my mind. It's too cryptic. Even I don't know what it means. Don't read it. I'm not even going to link to it. Forget it. Thanks for stopping by.
