Yesterday at lunch I posted that "free dumb" post. I wonder what I was thinking. I wonder if I was thinking. I wonder.
Aaaannnnnd... scene! Cut! That's a wrap. What's up next?
The ancients had many sayings. It's pretty much all they did, sit around and make up sayings, like a fortune cookie factory. They didn't have pencils and paper around, though, so they had to actually say all the sayings. There were professional sayers who were hired just to say the sayings to each other over and over and over in a big circle, just so they wouldn't be forgotten. It was like a giant game of telephone, except they didn't call it that, since telephones weren't invented until, like, 1983 or something. I wonder if the sayings ever survived one trip around the circle without being modified beyond recognition? You know there was always one joker who changed them just for fun. There always is. All the sayings from the ancients that we still have today, in fact, came from that joker. All the actual wise sayings of the ancients were lost. He or she, the joker, was the last person to hear them.
My point is this: I always pick up hitchhikers, but I never let them go again. The car is getting really crowded. And smelly. I think I'm going to buy a new car, in fact. I should get a pretty good deal on a trade-in. "Come on, man. The eighteen hitchhikers alone are worth more than that. Work with me here." Sometimes I pick up a hitchhiker, immediately make a U-turn, drive back three miles in the opposite direction, and let them out again. I'm trying to teach them a lesson. "You're out on the road, dude. You've got to keep your wits about you. Trust no one. That's how life is on the road, dude. Now maybe you'll remember that." Of course, I don't tell them that. I just pull over, say, "Excuse me," reach into the glove box, pull out the syringe and the little bottle of water with the skull and crossbones on it and start to prepare the needle. They always get out really quickly. It cracks me up. The other hitchhikers in the back seat always think it's funny too. They're a pretty good bunch of guys. I may let two of them go, as a good will gesture. When I think about it, they probably don't really do much for the trade-in value. Hitchhikers lose 95% of their resale value as soon as they leave the shoulder. It's true.
I always set out to write literature, not just writing. The world has enough senseless drivel. I want to reach people's lives, you know. I want to leave signs of my passing for those who come later. I want to be the ancients for someone else one day. It's like the ancients said, "Memories are a path that can lead you to pee-pee head."
See? Literature.
Hello, friends. How are you today?
Later. Love.
