In order to walk up the trunk of a tree you have to make some gravity adjustments. You cannot adjust your center of gravity enough to accomplish this, so you have to adjust the position of the surrounding center of gravity relative to both yourself and the tree. Somehow, you have to get gravity to pull you toward the trunk of the tree, which requires adjusting the center of gravity so that the trunk of the tree is between you and it. I've been working on this problem for some time, and the only solution I have found is to adjust the position of the tree so that it is between you and the center of the earth, which is the center of gravity around here. This will kill the tree, unfortunately, so you have to really ask whether it's worth it to you. While you're evaluating this, honesty requires that you include consideration of the following fact: You really aren't walking "up" the trunk of a tree in this case, just along it.
I was going to phone in my blog post this morning, but I don't know the number. I called the operator and asked her for the number of my blog, but she couldn't help me. "Is it a real place?" she asked. That's a complicated question, but she refused to engage in a conversation on the more delicate nuances of the implications thereof. So, I'm typing this in, as usual.
I'm going to count to three and snap my fingers. When you hear my fingers snap, you'll wake up. You won't remember any of this. Okay?
One... Two... Three... <snap>
Hello, friends. How are you today?
Later. Love.
