Without a doubt, the most difficult part of becoming a ninja is learning to be invisible. People think that ninja are just really good at hiding in the shadows and stuff, but that's not the whole story. We can actually become invisible. Once you learn to do it, in fact, it's much more feasible than hiding yourself in the shadows, most of which are much smaller than you or not dark enough to conceal you.
I cannot train you to do this without betraying the brotherhood of the ninja, but I can give you a general description of the nature of being invisible. Being invisible involves acting like whatever is behind you. You can only be invisible from one angle, so you have to position yourself wisely based on the most likely perspective of your adversary. If, for example, you are blocking the sight of a fern from the view of your adversary, you become invisible by looking like that fern. It's a lot like pantomime, except quieter.
In order to become a full-fledged ninja, I had to demonstrate highly convincible invisibility to the perspective of my master while standing between him and a Jackson Pollock painting. I had to do this while wearing a standard, black ninja Shinobi Shozoku, so it was not easy at all. I was able to pull it off, however, and even improved on a couple of highly-criticized flaws in the underlying painting.
Why do I mention this to you now? Because, I'm right in front of you. Can you see me? Boo!
Happy Birthday, Susan. I enjoy being married to an older woman for half of the year, especially if she's you. I love you.
Hello, friends. How are you today?
Later. Love.
