Dear Santa,
I hope this letter finds you well. I imagine you're very busy preparing for Christmas. Perhaps that's not true. I have no idea how magic factors into the time it takes you to prepare for such a daunting task as yours. Perhaps you have no need to prepare this far in advance, or perhaps the activity up there never stops. In either case, I hope and trust that things are good for you as you read this.
It's hard for me to write to you like this. We don't even know each other. I mean, I've heard about you all of my life, but we've never met. I have to confess, I really don't believe you exist. Perhaps this is a rude thing to tell you, but your unusual relationship with the public, if you exist, leads naturally to this, doesn't it? I assume you're accustomed to this sort of thing.
In spite of my doubt, I've decided to give this letter a shot. I suppose it couldn't hurt anything.
As you probably expect, this is a letter letting you know what I would like to receive for Christmas this year. I am not in the habit of asking strangers to give me things, but this, as I understand it, is your chosen profession. I suspect also, though the rules are nowhere spelled out for us, that I might be too old for you to consider my request. Perhaps you only deal with the desires of children. Having committed to this course of action, however, I will leave it to you to apply your normal protocol as you see fit.
I'd like to preface my request with a description of a perception that's been slowly growing in my mind. Studies of history have convinced me that there was, at one time, a more thoughtful tone to public discourse. Some would be quick to say to any criticism of the current state of societal dialogue that things are as they have always been. I remain convinced, however, that there was a time, not long ago, when two people, or two groups, could disagree, even about important matters, and yet could still work together, find common ground and maintain a demeanor of mutual respect. The attitude of public debate today, however, seems angry and spiteful, with disagreeing parties stooping to petty name calling and developing real hatred for one another. People are quick to call each other liars when they are sincere and criminals for making sincere mistakes with consequences. It's a troubling state of affairs, especially in affairs of state, and I can't help but wonder, "How will this end?"
It is with the preceding ideas in mind that I want you to understand my request. It is, perhaps, not the typical request you receive. Nevertheless, it is my sincere and desperate desire, and its fulfillment would bring me great joy.
I would like for the world to, once again, know what it means to... uh... be in one... uh...
Ah, screw it. I want an iPod. Audio only. Lots of gigabytes.
Yours truly and sincerely,
A. Scott White
