Oh, man. In the back of my mind I just knew this was going to happen. The toxic chemicals, flood waters and above ground cemeteries of post-Katrina New Orleans could only mean one thing: Duke Luther, vampire lord of the American South, has raised an army of zombies to take over the city.
Man, I really don't have time for this right now. When I saw the Louisiana Deputy Chief of Dark Magic's number on my caller ID this morning, my heart sank. I mean, I know that finding the ancient Dagger of Souls that day in the woods made me the leader of the Knights of the CrossBlade, but I really can't afford to take time off of work right now. I know, I know, with great power comes great responsibility, but man, this is a really bad time for me.
I have to be honest. It's not just the timing. I don't think I'm cut out for this kind of thing. The other two knights, Tank and Natasha, they really look the part. They're all muscled and tan and gorgeous and they always show up in these awesome leather outfits with guns and blades strapped all over them. I have no idea why they even want me to go with them. I mean, there I am in my jeans and sneakers with some stupid golf shirt or something. I look like an idiot.
Plus, I'm really no help. I carry the stupid soul dagger thingee, but I've never killed anything with it. I always get really confused and disoriented when the fighting starts and they end up having to rescue me all the time. For some reason, though, they treat me like I'm some all important leader. It's a little stupid.
Natasha got me this leather vest thing last time, after we defeated Luther's werewolves in Birmingham. It looks ridiculous on me, though. I look like some pathetic middle-aged fat guy at an orgy or something. It's awful. I know she meant well, but there's no way I'm wearing that thing.
Oh well. Duty calls. Wish us luck.
Later. Love.
